I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my mouth tastes like poor choices
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
