You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
