She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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