yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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