I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize