No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
