dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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