It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
