just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
