singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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