My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
