Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize