He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
