Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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