Duck Duck Cougar?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
