drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
