she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I need a beard to bite.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
