hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
