I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
