remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
