My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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