I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize