i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize