Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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