Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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