went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
