and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
