it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
