This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
