I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
