my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
