oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
