I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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