You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
