My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you guys were way drunker than both of me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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