NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
