there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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