I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can I color on your dick again?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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