My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
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she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
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I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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