It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
