once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He literally asked permission to hit on me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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