Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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