Buhtt sex?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
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if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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