I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
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I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
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Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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