it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
