either way he was missing a nipple.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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