foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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