So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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