Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
