...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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