She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
