Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My bed smells like the plague
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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