so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
