I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't deserve a penis
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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