The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize