My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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