Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
