OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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