Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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