let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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