the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
