He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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