I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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