tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
