My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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