I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We named our party play list daddy issues
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
