3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
