First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
