therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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