Cold hands, warm shart.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
