well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
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If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
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Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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