So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
